What made you stop being an addict?

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

Can you summarize season 1 of "The Acolyte"?

Now how do you quit your addiction?

I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Is it better for 2nd generation Western Muslims to marry someone from their parents' country or a western Muslim who was born and raised in the West?

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

Why do some people have loving parents and some do not?

I did it in my administrator's office.

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

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I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

Read that again ☝️

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

How do you handle family members who ask for handouts?

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

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I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

How many of you have had your parental rights taken away because of lies and no truth whatsoever, and did you prove the lies that were told about you to be false either through drug testing or another way, but still had your rights taken?

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Have you ever been forced to undress for money just once?

I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

How do you write a letter to your uncle who sent you money for your birthday outfit?

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

Why does my best friend call me ugly and act like she’s joking, but today she looked at me and said “I wouldn’t lie to you”? What should I say back to her?

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

And I can also talk to them now.

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

How do women feel when they are in love?

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

So I'm still hanging on this lie.

Can it be true that people know your name, not your story, they’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through, so take their opinions of you with a grain of salt?

This was February 2019.

Just keep trying

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

To a flat Earther, what's wrong with the idea that gravity is simply a force inherent to space which operates only in one dimension? Why do they go further and try to deny gravity rather than just saying it's different than physicists claim?

But for me, I would say RUN away from it

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.